I’m here again in the need to write; because I feel that only portraying my thoughts, my feelings, my worries, and sorrows, will be the only way to make me feel better; make me move on… I want to know what I want and what I need because YOU left me hanging by the thread of life… I’m in the in-between, I’m in repair, and I can’t seem to find the way to get to the other side…
I thought that if I didn’t see you, didn’t hear you, didn’t let you fuck me up the way you did, I would be able to move. And you’re not here and I can’t get away. And there’s nothing worse you can ever do, so I want to keep blaming you if I mess up, because I wasn’t like this. I was fine. I was good. And you didn’t appreciate me and you keep messing everything up.
Because I had you in my life, my roads are leading to perdition, as well as yours.
I keep getting so mad...
I think I know what you mean. I think I can picture this connection because I just experienced it firsthand myself. It sucks walking through life in those days, months, following when all you can think about are those days when you thought you had the world at your fingertips, but really it was just swinging by a thread waiting to be touched delicately by a sharpened razor. But you can't let life get to be that delicate. You have to have backups where you can turn when something unexpected or something fucked up happens to us that turns our world upside down or something cuts that thread that sends our world tumbling. Ive had to learn that lesson myself. Mostly what that latest poem is about. Hope you're doin good though! Keep it up! Good writing.
ReplyDeleteI think you should keep writing.
ReplyDelete