Getting it right.

So you're trying hard to get things right.  You put a lot of effort , you try to act by your heart, by what it tells you its the right thing to do... Just to realize you're doing everything wrong and things are going the exact opposite way you wanted them to be.  Aren't we supposed to follow what our heart tells us is the right thing?  Because whenever we don't listen to that little voice that warns us, everything turns out the wrong way.  Therefore you decide to listen to it just to realize it wasn't the right thing to do either.

I've been in that point where you see everything so clear; where you can act so surely almost knowing what's about to happen next, that it makes me so anxious not to be there anymore; not to be sure.

It's so exciting at the same time because I'm discovering so many things about life: there's so much to it and you have the power to make it as fascinating as it can be.  It's our decision to be a success or a failure; to be a winner or a loser; to be exceptional or insignificant.  And I decide to be something different, to try new and unpredictable things so I can get different results.

What do you do when you didn't really want what you get at the end? Just keep trying until you get it right.  Those mistakes are the ones that get you extraordinary results.

Adaptation

I am very surprised at the new person I'm converting into. From an extremely shy personality, a girl who didn't talk to anyone if she didn't absolutely have to; to a girl that realized she couldn't go on living this introverted life if she actually wanted to do something with her life; to actually developing some social skills and giving herself the opportunity of being sincere and true to herself... It really does make a difference.

There are so many experiences I have had that had taught me to be the way I am now: many painful things and very good ones. It feels great to realize how much I have changed and how that gets me through life easier: I recognize people's actions and thoughts and they don't scare me anymore. on the contrary, I'm excited to learn how they act, what are their reasons to act that way, what kind of background do they come from that makes them be the way they are. It is, seriously, a lot of fun!

Who could have ever imagine me, a shy lonely girl, getting into the grand adventure of coming to the United States, living by herself, with no family close to her, just adapting everyday to a different way of life...the american life.

Being free...

Is this new attitude making me more...
or is making me feel
or does it has to do anything towards you?
Before all this I lied, I hid,
I wouldn't tell...afraid...of your reaction;
worried...because I didn't know if it was correct.
But now, I feel so different,
I feel so free to talk, to trust,
to do anything I like without
worrying about others reactions;
just because I want it that way.
Just because it's in me to sing,
to walk, to dance, to fool around,
to write, to draw, to have fun,
to be true, to love, to be free,
to be me...
I feel it, I do it.
Doesn't matter anything but my
happiness in this moment, right here,
right now.
I feel like risking it all.

Live High

To learn, adapt, to live, to dream,
once and again.
Again, not again!
Who cares? If one, two or three times,
it appears again.
To learn, to love, to live and dream,
always ahead, not in reverse.
The victories, the defeats,
that makes us learn about life,
about our dreams, two and three times, and again.
To adapt ourselves to changes,
to think about the same thing.
I always want to, I never can,
but I know I'll learn.
It's my life, it's my way,
it's my time to fly.
To live without fear, I want to,
you taught me and that's what I'll do.
Two and three times I'll try
and I'll finally get it.
There's no forgetfulness,
only wait that's tired of waiting.
And you know what's waiting for me?
To dream, to live, to be.